Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
it glows. i had to have it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
