Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Someone came in the potted fern
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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