I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
it's like heaven, but drunker
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
