i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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