idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
