i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
