hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
