Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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