Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
