I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
