it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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