what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
