Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
