i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
