First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Randomize
