I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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