All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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