We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
