I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
