I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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