I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
