i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
