No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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