I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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