so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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