That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
