I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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