Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
