No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
