I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
please come you make the beer taste better
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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