wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just cut my nipple shaving
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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