When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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