i think i have herpe
just one?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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