I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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