3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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