Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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