Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
