so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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