holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
