Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
