Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Randomize
