My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
