i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
