Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
id be glad to
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize