Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
