The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
