I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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