What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
