He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
