i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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