awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
