lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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