he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
